What To Do
My life is a constant battle between my to-do list and the time constraints of a 24-hour day consisting of the need to sleep which cuts the useful hours even shorter. If only I were Edward’s Bella and that I was manipulated into joining his eternal existence of sleepless glittering bliss. Ok, I have no urge to be a vampire and to be honest, I was always Team Jacob. Still, I can’t help but daydream about the idea of limitless time versus cram-packed minutes every day and the feeling of always being behind.
I’ve written about this before, and I doubt I’ve fully learned my lesson, so most likely I’ll write about it again.
Today, I was rocking in my hammock chair in the backyard as the sun was going down. The wind was whipping through the tree branches and tossing my hair. The birds were chattering loudly all around me. New growth and brilliant greens were everywhere… mint and raspberry bushes, baby cantaloupe plants, shallot greens poking their heads from the soil, and miniature pears crowding the skinny tree’s branches. Peace enveloped me and I wished that I could stay there forever.
Obviously that’s not an option. Unfortunately. And not unfortunately. I have way too many adventures ahead of me to stay in one place. Just like there are way too many foods to enjoy to only eat mashed potatoes and gravy… even though I LOVE mashed potatoes and gravy.
The piece to the puzzle that I seem to aim for and miss constantly is the HOW on enjoying life without letting it overwhelm. How to say no when I need to say no. I’ve learned how to say no, when I don’t want to do something. The challenge lies when I WANT to do something, but I should say no. Oof. It’s so hard!!
Last year, I had a cantaloupe plant that I waited way too long to put in the ground. By the time she was planted, she looked terrible. I knew I wanted to save her and was willing to put in the effort. I inquired with my mum and grandmum, both Master Gardeners thru the WSU Clark County Extension Program. They told me what to do, so I did it. And I named her Courtney. And I talked to her and encouraged her every day. And she grew brilliantly. I harvested her seeds and now Courtney2’s are popping up. So exciting.
This year, I have a zucchini plant that has powdery mildew. Not abnormal for a squash plant. Again I sought the advice of the Green Thumbs in my life. They told me what to do. I was less than enthused.
As I swung in my chair and enjoyed my space, pondering the dilemma of time, I tried to figure out what I need to stop doing. What can I permanently cross off my to-do list that won’t negatively impact the quality of my life? THEN… I thought maybe I should stop thinking about what I should say NO to, and rather figure out where to say YES.
I thought of the little zucchini plant. I decided I would pull him. I was saying yes to pulling him, so in essence saying no to giving him the extra care recommended.
I got up and grabbed my trowel and dug him up. I felt bad because I personify objects. I’m a product of Disney! I envision the zucchini plant has feelings, now feelings of failure as I dig him up because of a disease he never asked for. As I take him away from his brothers and sisters, I imagine them weeping and calling after him. How do I even live with such an imagination?? My plan was to throw him away. To be done with that task and move on to more Yes’s. I got close to the garbage… couldn’t do it. Planted him in the yard debris pile. Ugh.
Not sure a lesson was learned here… except I do like the idea of grabbing a hold of the YES’s and watching the NO’s naturally fall into place.
Wish me luck.
