Yesterday ended well. Sure, I stayed up too late. But Phoenix and I lounged
around and watched pointless shows, sucked at Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune,
and chatted about all things from prom to politics, college prep to
pinterest clothing boards. The stinky dog got a bath. The kitchen was clean
for the most part.
This morning I woke up, got up, and things seemingly went smooth. Then… I
was overwhelmed. I could feel it creeping in when I had trouble deciding
what to wear, then my text message alert went off 20 times on my way to
work, THEN I couldn’t get my phone out of my pocket. You know it’s all down
hill if you’re ready to freak out because you struggle to get your phone out
of your pocket.
Sitting at my desk, I could so easily cry. A heaviness inside. I can play
the game of justification as to why I feel this way, as I list everything on
my plate. Yet I know everything could be so much worse. And… life is good.
My dad’s battling cancer, but right now he’s doing really well. Work is
overwhelming, but I can handle it and thankful I have a job! And on and on
and on. I’m a glass half full find of person.
So, why the heaviness? Am I hormonally imbalanced? Is this normal? What is
it that causes this uneasiness?
By now, I’ve come to know that it will pass. I need to just focus on what’s
in front of me. I can only do one thing at a time. In all honesty… going
from a weirdo, dancing around the house, singing and being happy, to a
heavy, uncomfortable, overwhelmed emotional basket case really does make me
wonder if I’m crazy.