A Message to the Moms and Wives Out There
I am convinced that the most unappreciated job is that of a Mother/Wife. Talking with friends, it seems like 99% of our dismay comes from the basis of not being appreciated. I have dedicated my life, my energy, my money, my entire being to the people I love. And what do I get? Complaints that I don’t buy Kraft Mac’n Cheese and Doritos, or that I buy Saigon cinnamon (really… where does the other cinnamon come from? Oh… you don’t know? uh-huh). I’m met with ongoing argument when I say skipping class because it’s boring isn’t a legitimate reason to miss school. I could go on, but women already know what I’m talking about and they can make their own laundry lists of examples from their own homes.
There are times when my husband or kids do something uncharacteristic and show me that I’m not invisible, that they do appreciate me. And those times are nice, oh so nice. They make my heart happy.
But ladies, this blog isn’t a rant about how unappreciated we are. It is about a lesson that I haven’t learned yet, but after all this time, and years of heartache and complaints… I should have by now.
My feelings about my performance as a mother and wife should not be based on the accolades my family gives me. It is not their job to boost my confidence. After I clean the house, I need to sit back and be proud of myself for a job well done, regardless of my family’s obliviousness. When I am juggling seven tasks; going to work, taking care of the household, scheduling appointments, calling the internet company (worst task of all!), grocery shopping (ok… maybe this is the worst), and whatever else life is throwing at me… I should hold my head high and feel proud that I am a capable woman and that I can do all this.
Proverbs 31:10-31 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. Some people may see it as a list of what women MUST do, a list of unrealistic expectations forced upon us. I see it as a testament of how strong God made me. How multifaceted I was created. How capable I am. Another message in this passage is that there isn’t any ‘if’s’. Verse 12 says, “She does him [husband] good and not evil all the days of her life”. It doesn’t say that she does him good IF he does her good. Verse 15 says, “she… provides food for her household”. It doesn’t say that she feeds them if they thank her, or if they clean up the dinner mess, or if they deserve the dang food.
I want to be clear… the men and children you serve SHOULD thank you. They should let you know they appreciate you. I Thessalonians 5:11 says to “encourage and build each other up”. But this appreciation (or lack thereof) should not be the foundation of our confidence in the roles we play.
It is impossible for any human, even the ones that live under the same roof as you, to know all that you do. All the sacrifice you make, the energy you expend, the time and money you dedicate, the tasks you complete to keep their world revolving. But God sees it all. He sees you. He sees your heart. He sees every tiny thing you do. And that is so much more important. God sees me.
Let us release others from the expectation of making us feel good about ourselves. And let us do our duties with a cheerful heart. Let us kill it in the arena of being the woman God has called us to be.
With all this being said, it still feels good to be appreciated. So here is my message to all you mothers and wives out there…
YOU ARE AWESOME
YOUR EVERY SACRIFICE IS A BLESSING TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU
THE WORLD WOULD NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU
YOU ARE ENOUGH, YOU ARE CAPABLE, YOU ARE STRONG EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT
KEEP YOUR EYES UP AND YOUR ARMS OPEN
KEEP LOVING, KEEP GOING, NEVER GIVE UP
AND WHEN YOU LAY YOUR HEAD ON THE PILLOW AT NIGHT, AND YOU START TO THINK ABOUT THE MISTAKES YOU MADE OR WHAT YOUR KIDS OR HUSBAND DID TO MAKE YOU MAD, JUST LET IT ALL GO… AND KNOW YOU ARE WHAT YOUR FAMILY NEEDS.
YOU ARE LOVED
Fun read: Salary.com’s article about what a mother’s salary should be :). Read this and tuck it in your back pocket as a reminder that you not only have emotional and eternal value… but you have some legitimate, hard-core monetary value too!
Like I said last week “YOU are the mother I wish I had been”..
You are a wonderful mother and an amazing grandmother