Three Days In
Three days into a 10-day-minimum quarantine… and I’m already done. It just hit me this morning. Frustration and intolerance in the depth of my chest. My work log on info was wrong. My headset was screaming static. WordPress changed their blog platform (insert picture of me ripping my hair out). My right foot keeps falling asleep. I have cramps, unrelated to COVID. And something weird is going on with my nose. I want to scream. I could probably cry. I would prefer to step away from my banquet-table makeshift office area and curl up and read.
Ayden, my 19-year old son tested positive for the Rona on Monday, right after his girlfriend tested positive on Sunday. Those that are judging me right now, do not have the slightest inclination of what it means to be raising social teenagers during this time. Feel free to scroll to the next blog post about what Rhonda is doing at home to spark joy on her 215th straight day of not leaving her house.
Goodness gracious… maybe it’s good I’m stuck at home with everyone banished to their own rooms. I should change out of my sweats and put on a black dress and pointy hat! Fair warning… anyone that hands me a broom right now, will absolutely get whacked with it.
I should be grateful that my son has such minor symptoms. I should be thanking my lucky stars that so far none of the rest of us are sick. I have a comfortable home, I’m able to keep working, we have food and a great support system if we run out of something. Instead… I’m stewing in self pity. Cranky and crotchety and I’m sure my face is all crumpled in a scowl, potentially causing perma-wrinkles.
Time to put my big girl pants on. The tools were handed to me this morning…
I listened to Les Brown while I did yoga this morning. He talked about having courage to live life to the fullest this year. He said not to get caught up in the hoopla. He said to be ALL IN… to be a perpetual optimist. He said to look in the mirror and say, “Lord… Today, you and I can handle ANYTHING that comes at us”.
A tiny part of me thinks maybe I missed the boat last year during the lock down. Was I meant to learn a lesson that I missed, so now God is handing me another opportunity? Dear Lord Jesus… I’m listening!! Please don’t make me do this again! I love being home, but not being forced to be home! I need to slow down, but I don’t want to be obligated to wipe my calendar clean!
James 1:2-3 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” Some versions speak of steadfastness, others of patience, and still others of perseverance. Trials and tribulations, lock downs and technology failures, illness and hormones… all an opportunity to grow. To be better than we were yesterday. To prepare us for tomorrow.
I’m hanging up my dress and hat. I’m erasing the scowl. I can’t waste this day. It’s the only day I’m guaranteed. How do I live life to the fullest when my boundaries are so confining? When my freedom is so limited? I’m not really sure. This vent session and the words of my good buddies James and Les have already started to help.
I’ve got seven more days to figure this s*%! out. Wish me luck.