That Crazy Church Lady
For a long time, I’ve been afraid to come across too aggressive or make people uncomfortable by sharing my faith. As I’ve gotten older, I like confrontation less and less. I just want every conversation and interaction to be fragrant roses and colorful unicorns.
Heading into a new week, after having an AMAZING Sunday makes me YEARN for people to experience what I am experiencing. Life is hard. And it’s wonderful. There’s darkness. And there’s so much light. I know there are people that are happy and don’t know Jesus. There are good people that don’t know Jesus. But I can tell you… going from not KNOWING Jesus to KNOWING Jesus… I’ve experienced both sides of the aisle. There is freedom and liberty and ecstasy that can only be found in Jesus. Not in money, or success, or meditation, or friendship, or medication, or love, or whatever practice you are doing to find inner peace and contentment and all that. Jesus. That’s it. If you don’t believe that, it doesn’t change the truth in the statement. And if you don’t believe it… it’s because you haven’t experienced Him before. You can have lived decades saying you ‘believe’ in Jesus and still be sitting on the throne of your own life. Satan ‘believed’ in Jesus… but pretty sure when I die, I’m not going to be greeted in heaven by Satan. Believing in Jesus and KNOWING Jesus are two different things. I didn’t know this… until tragedy hit my life and all I could do was run AT God and expect Him to meet me where I am. And He did. You can only serve one God though. To KNOW Jesus is to surrender your own reign. Sounds scary. Like jumping out of a plane and hoping the parachute works. It’ll work, I promise.
This morning I realize that I do want to be that crazy church lady. Not the kind that has Bible hair all over me and take in every stray Bible in the neighborhood… oh wait… I’m getting Crazy Church Lady confused with Crazy Cat Lady. My husband’s ‘allergic’… so I can’t be the cat lady.
I’m not going to be interjecting scripture in every conversation and only wearing shirts that say things like, “Citizen of Heaven”. I’m going to still read Nicholas Sparks and probably even watch Rated R movies sometimes. But I am going to be more open in what’s going on in my life. What God is doing in my life. And hopefully people will see that I am different than the world… and it’s not because I have good genes (which I do… thanks Mom and Dad), or because I have a good time management schedule (which I totally don’t)… it’s because I’ve given Jesus the driver seat.
In a world of full of pride and drive and judgment if you nap… it’s crazy to set aside the need to look good to everyone else. The need to be better, do more. It’s crazy talk! And I actually will be better and do more, but it won’t be in my own strength, me killing myself to achieve. It’ll be because as I get to know my Creator more intimately, I get to know myself more intimately. As I focus on Him, my path, the one I was created to be on will be more clear.
So here we are heading into a new week. And heading into the holiday season. I have HIGH expectations of this season, and also incredibly low expectations. This season is going to be fabulous. I LOVE Christmas almost as much as I love books (and boy howdy is that a lot). I am going to listen to 24/7 Christmas music, and watch Christmas movies, and enjoy the lights and decorations, and events and presents and food and ALL OF IT. And at the same time, if things don’t go my way or schedules go awry or my kids can’t get the day off to get our tree on Black Friday… it’s ok. Jesus is in the driver seat. Wherever He’s taking me… I’m happily going. And it’s going to be great.