Sequestered with Teens; Day Eight
Today I woke up mad at Jesse, which makes sense since I went to bed mad at Jesse. I’m over it now. That’s usually how it happens.
The morning was rough though. I cried. Hard. I feel my kids’ heaviness, and I can’t (responsibly) do anything about it. This seems like the perfect time to get stuff around the house done, or spend quality time that our family has been lacking… but it’s not happening. I was struggling to find my positive normal self for the upcoming day. And then of course, I miss my dad. That just seems to be hovering under the surface and any time I feel weak or sad or lost… boom… crying over Dad again.
So I prayed… Lord, help me be ignorantly hopeful. Help me not focus on what has already happened, and help me not play-out potential future conversations or situations in my head. Let me be in THIS moment, each moment of the day. Help me to see the positives. Help me to brush off the negative. Help me be me and not get drawn into negativity. Lead me to sing and to laugh, even if I’m alone. Help me remember to breathe.
Although I felt better about the pending day… I still planned to not say a single dang word to that husband of mine even though were were working five feet apart. Then he got really pissed at a situation… and handled it like a freaking rockstar! I was thinking… Who the heck is this guy?? I was quite impressed. Which led to a severe internal battle. I was mad y’all! It’s hard to swallow your pride and give the enemy a compliment! Alas… I humbled myself (thank goodness… just look in the Bible at what happens to people that wait for God to humble them… oh heck no thank you!)… and I told him that I thought he handled that really well. That broke the ice. I still harbored a little resentment, but that sizzled away. Because who am I kidding? It takes a lot for me to hold on to that nonsense.
I karoaked Paula Abdul and Boyz II Men at lunch time while I danced like a lunatic around the kitchen and ate with Phoenix. How can you not feel good singing every word of your favorite ’80’s music??
Ayden and Alexis kept to themselves for most of the day. I will however say that when they were out of their rooms, they were peculiarly pleasant. We had a fantastic Ham dinner and played Coup. Coup is a card game with a goal of assassinating each other. Go figure. What brings family together more than the opportunity to kill each other, right? We laughed, and just had a jolly time. When the family game was over, Phoenix and I played a little longer (she whooped me). Then I went and cuddled with Alexis for a bit.
Maybe it was my prayer, maybe it was Paula, maybe it was a change in the kids and Jesse, maybe a combination of all those things… I don’t know, but today ended up being a pretty dang good day.